by Jennifer Karchmer

I'm hot and cold about writer's retreats. This is pretty funny because I've been a professional writer for more than 25 years, so you'd think that I would jump at the chance to share a comfy couch with fellow scribes and commiserate about the craft.

​But my relationship to the weekend escape known as the retreat is more like a "Sam and Diane" connection (think TV show "Cheers") rather than a hand-in-glove love affair. I'm a writer in passion, talent and career, but I tend to resist the meta — the bird's-eye view of writing.   

This ambivalence is rooted in two precepts common to many writers — fear and procrastination. What if I find out that my writing sucks, that everyone else is better than me? Am I just stalling by getting away from it all, when what I really need is to get my butt in the chair? 

"A writer writes, right? How could attending a veritable break get more words on the page," I thought? 

Last fall, I decided to drop all of this psychological baggage to attend Write Doe Bay, a writer's mecca in Washington state that dubs itself, "an intimate artists' retreat and multi-workshop event..." Now that the dust has settled, I can say this three-day weekend (Oct. 6-8, 2017) gave me  ... 

This is an excerpt from Jennifer’s upcoming book,“Take (Your) Time To Write: The Path to Peaceful Writing,” based on the concept of slow writing. 

I’ve always been a slow writer. In the 1990s, at my first job as a reporter, I would take hours to finish a 500-word column that should have taken an hour or two after sifting through my notes. I would return from a school board meeting or a run-of-the-mill press conference and toil over the lede (first sentence of a news story) and every sentence. I would rewrite and rewrite until everything was just right. Of course, accuracy is critical in journalism, so I checked, rechecked, and made my quotes perfect. Still, my editor pulled me aside one day, and while assuring me I was doing a good job, she said I needed to produce more quickly. They were paying me by the hour ($5) and wouldn’t be able to afford me if I kept up this tortoise pace.

​Thankfully, I learned to speed it up. After putting in more than a decade in busy newsrooms, I can say I have never been fired for missing a deadline. (Admittedly, as I work on this post, I see out of the corner of my eye on the TV, three episodes of Seinfeld have passed in addition to at least half of “Dirty Dancing” so we’re moving in on three hours and I’m only halfway finished.)

Several years ago, I made the transition from a “Just the facts, ma’am” reporter to a personal essay freelance writer. Today, I make my own deadlines – a dream come true for a writer, but with the autonomy comes discipline. So I’ve turned to other writers for guidance.

Frightfully, at a cocktail party, I overhear one writer say she jumps out of bed at the crack of dawn to get her butt in the chair before the family begins to stir. Similarly startling was the time a fellow scribe tell me he neurotically crosses off “Wrote 1,500 words!” on his daily To Do list. Getting up before the roosters? Hitting a daily self-imposed word count? ​Is this discipline or competition?

Realizing these conventions are not for me, I try to build my confidence, and my writing practice, around a slower, more relaxed pace that seems more in tune with my molasses gait. I admire you early risers, I really do. But it’s just not my style, so why force it? Writing is not only a career but an art, a passion–one that inches along to the tune of the muse whom I invoke when the sun and moon align.

Well, it’s actually not that magical but I put a lot of stock in how I am feeling. I am a productive writer, but these laments make me feel stressed out and depleted. Am I really a writer if I don’t adhere to these routines? I had left the busy newsroom grind and didn’t want to replace it with tortuous rules that seemed to leave me with a wet blanket of guilt draped over my shoulders.​